Tuesday, August 31, 2010

New WIP Teaser

Just started writing this yesterday, so excuse if it's choppy! Here's a teaser from my brand-new WIP:

“When do I get to start working point?” I cast my mother a puppy-dog look as I pull off my black cardigan and readjust the floral tank top underneath.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t even shoot.” She leans into the backseat to flatten the flyaway frizz in my hair. The familiar gesture does nothing to rectify my mood.

“I can so.” Inadvertently, I glance at Ryan in the driver’s seat. He’s sending me panic-signals with his eyes. I clamp my mouth shut, but it’s too late. The damage is done, and the atmosphere in the car has suddenly turned sub-arctic.

Mom fires her glare-of-doom in Ryan’s direction, and the 6’7” bodybuilder cowers before her. “What did I tell you about taking her out on the range? She’s not even sixteen!”

“I’m sorry, but you know that pout she gets when you don’t listen to her…” Ryan trails off, because now I’m glowering at him too. Oh sure, throw me under the bus, why doesn’t he?

The bug in my left ear crackles. “All teams in position?” asks the voice, a little too loudly. Mom and I both wince.

“I’ll deal with you two later,” she hisses under her breath to Ryan and I. Then she touches a finger to her own ear-bug. “Move out.”

I slide over the leather seats and open my passenger door, when her hand catches my arm. She leans over the seats again and plants a quick kiss on my cheek – not her usual lovey-dovey send-off, but it’s better than nothing. “See you soon,” I tell them.

“Love you, honey,” she says.

“Love you too.” I step onto the crowded street corner and slam the door behind me. Almost immediately, I’m swept up in the crowd, carried toward my destination two blocks down the road. PNC Bank. Already the adrenaline sings through my veins. I don’t understand how Mom could’ve ever wanted to give up this life. I love me a well-planned bank heist.

9 comments:

  1. Great tease! I like the family-ness of this post. Great voice too!

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  2. hahah awesome, a thief, there is a such a lack of thieves in books these days, It sounds great, can't wait for more

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  3. Fabulous! I'm so intrigued already. :D

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  4. Sheesh, good hook. Can't wait to read more.

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  5. AWE.SOME. Love the dynamics of the mother, Ryan, and the MC. Seems so much like typical family squabble type stuff and then the kiss followed by the discovery that they're working together to rob a bank. Too funny. Great stuff. Look greatly forward to more.

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  6. Oooh, very cool! I love how ambiguous all of this was. It's a great lead-in to what sounds like a fantastic story!

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  7. Love this, many great lines and great voice. :)

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  8. I love the sense of conflict here -- it's so good, and reveals a lot about the relationship between mother and MC and Ryan and MC even though the situation's kind of ambiguous (out of context, cause it's a tease :)). Awesome.

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  9. I just love the setting and family interaction. Sounds like home without the tech.

    Keep writing missy, you know your stories always have ears :)

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