How to Spot a Hockey n00b

I read an article in a local paper this week that listed "10 Ways to Spot a New Hockey Fan." The idea was to tell people how to dress/act at games in order to appear as though they have been watching the sport for a long time. Not only did I find this silly (what's wrong with only just discovering a new game?), I also disagreed with many of the points in the article. The number three way to tell if someone just started watching hockey, for example, is if they yell at the referees. Now, as someone who has been watching hockey since her father first took her to games at the age of 4, I can tell you that everyone in the entire stadium yells at the refs at some point or another during a game. They also said only n00bs will yell "shoot the puck" all of the time. Granted, it would be silly to yell it all of the time, but veteran fans of the Penguins (and many other teams, I suspect) will know that one of our common problems is passing the puck too much and not shooting it at the goal.
So, I decided to make my own list of what makes someone stand out as a n00b hockey fan (not that there is anything wrong with being one!):
10) You don't understand any of the crazy hand-gestures the referees make.
9) If you are lucky enough to be in the front row, but you aren't pounding on the glass.
8) If you don't own a jersey.
7) If the only jersey you own is one of the brand-new styles (most of which, no offense NHL, are much worse than the older uniforms).
6) If the fog-horn that sounds when someone scores a goal scares the crap out of you.
5) You only know the names of the two or three top scoring players on your team of choice.
4) You choose your favorite player based on how buff he looks with his jersey off.
3) When you point out "how cute/funny it is" that all of the players have beards during the playoffs (it is tradition not to shave or change your underwear for the duration of a team's playoff season).
2) You wear a pink shirt with your team's logo on it, even though your team's colors are not anything close to pink.
1) You ask when halftime is.