Teaser Tuesday: less than three

Time for another tease! From my current WIP, (less than three). Before you ask: yes, this is a memoir. And yes, there are vampires. Also, I swear I am not crazy:

Subject: Re: Clan Meeting
In CapadocianRowdyPub@yahoogroups.com, “Rena” wrote…
January 26, 2004 1:29 AM

Capadocious Clan Hall. RavenBlack City.

At first glance, the room I walk into could be any public auditorium in any city. But this isn't any city. Take a closer look around the audience and you'll see. The Rowdy Pub's bartender, dressed in a black leotard and pink tutu, adjusts the string of teeth around her neck. The old man who leads the Warriors' House pops a beer can with an axe the size of most humans' thighs. Beside him, the Thieves' House captain sports full Robin Hood attire, but with a 9mm Glock holstered in place of the bow and arrow.

If you were to step outside this room, you'd find the city to be a similar mosh-pit of styles. This spotlight-flooded auditorium sits inside an authentic 13th century castle. A traditional English pub butts up against its battlements. Down the road stands a glass-and-metal skyscraper, across the street from a dilapidated church whose entrance burns with eternal flames.

Me, I could care less for the pretentious outfits and the gaudy buildings. I get it. You're compensating for something. Or you claim to be 500+ years old and stuck in your ways. Whatever. Old jeans and a tank top are far more comfortable than fourteenth century body armor. Not to mention cooler.

I sit in the back of the room, farthest I could get from the massive fireplace on the left wall. Add that to the body heat in the room from fifty recently-fed attendees awaiting this speech, and I feel like I'm practically sitting in an inferno. But then, anything warmer than freezing feels hot to me. Sensitive skin.

The idiot gullible enough to invite me to this trusted-clan-leaders-only shindig waves to me from across the room. I pretend not to notice. He's served his purpose: first class ticket to the good shit.

In about one minute, Capadocious will take the stage and tell us about his war preparations.

About damn time I caught a break. I've been playing good-little-student in this clan for weeks now and not learned anything more exciting than how best to strike when someone attacks you from behind.

See, in RavenBlack City, you have three types. The good ones, who feel all guilty about our "condition" as they call it. The bad ones, who believe we're meant to rule the world and throw lots of bloody bathhouse parties. Then you have the ones who straight don't give a fuck.

Guess which category I fall into?